My Fahrgate System Is Not A Toy

Sung to the tune of "A Secretary Is Not A Toy"
From a musical: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.original song copyright previous century 1952 (somebody!)

[MR. HAT]
Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!
A fahrgate system is not a toy,
No my boy;
Not a toy to invade and destroy,
And playfully dial
In search of some feral joy.
No, a fahrgate system is not,
Definitely not a toy.

[3 MALES]
You're absolutely right, Mr. Hat!
We wouldn't have any other way, Mr. Hat!
It's the Air Force's rule, Mr. Hat!

[MALE ENSEMBLE]
A fahrgate system is not a toy,
No my boy,
not a toy.
So do not step through it for joy,

[FEMALE ENSEMBLE]
A fahrgate system is not to be
Used for play therapy.

[CLASSROOM]
Be good to the gate you employ,
An' disassemble it not
Alien trouble you've got,
A fahrgate system is not ...a toy.
Be careful with our DHD
Component of operation unity...
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the fahrgate community
Use a touchstone at home
We supports

[MR HAND]
And you'll find nothing like it at F.A.O. Schwartz!

 [KYLE]
A fahrgate system is not a pet,
Alien erector set.

[MR HAND & KYLE ]
It happened to Leonard McCoy, boy!
They fired him a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A fahrgate system is not... A toy!

[CLASSROOM]
(Whistling)
A fahrgate system is not...A toy!

And when you put it to use,
The nerve,
It will put you to use:

[MR HAND]
That you will find the name Lionel
On your caboose!

[FEMALE ENSEMBLE]
A fahrgate system is not a thing
One buy key, hold by string
Keypad...
Is to type in,
And not put the hype in
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!

[CLASSROOM]
The fahrgate system you got,
Is definitely not
Supposed to do a whole lot,
Or you know what,
Before you step through, oy!
Remember this my boy,
A fahrgate system is not,
A tinker toy!